to my Lillian on her half birthday

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Lillian (aka Lily, aka Lily beans, aka Lily B, aka baby girl, aka Lily girl - you've got a lot of nicknames)

6 months. 26 weeks. Half way to the big "one".

I looked at the calendar this morning, knowing this day was coming but pushing it to the back of my mind, and my breath got stuck in my lungs. It could partially have been because you were up ALL.NIGHT.LONG. but I confident that the bigger reason my insides were churning was because I was struggling with that realization that you, my last baby, turned 6 months old today.

 Yes, 6 months is nothing in the scheme of things and, with your almost 5 year old sister and not too far from 3 year old brother, I KNOW how quickly time flies but you, YOU, you're my last and it seems like 6 months just slipped so precariously through my fingers and now it's gone. I'm grateful that we seem to have made a lifetime of memories in your short life and even though you don't have a baby book (that went out the window after your sister) and I have poorly documented "all the milestones" (they're in a "note" on my phone), I still have ALL the pictures and the memories of all the beautiful moments we've shared are etched in my memory and heart for eternity.

You'll grow to know we never planned on having a third child, but you, my sweet girl, knew better than we did. You and the powers that be knew our family wasn't finished yet. I joke with your dad all the time "can you believe we didn't plan for this?" because I mean it with every piece of my being that you, my angel, were absolutely 100% meant to be a part of our family.

We've shared our ups and downs this past 6 months. You're not the greatest sleeper (okay, I'm being kind, you're a terrible sleeper) but what you lack in sleep you make up for in cuteness. You have a
smile that utterly melts my heart each and every time. It's a smile that not only lights up your entire face, but all of our lives. And your laugh, my gosh your laugh. Though, much to my chagrin, no one can make you belly laugh like your brother and sister (and believe me, I've tried and made a complete fool of myself exhausting my efforts to elicit a giggle even close to what your siblings can... I fail every time). While you may not laugh for me like you do them, the way you look at me, I know, without any doubt in the world, you love your momma.

Then there's daddy. Well, you equally melt his heart and I can tell already that we have another daddy's girl on our hands. I can't say I can blame you, he's pretty amazing and so good with you and your brother and sister.

What else can I tell you about yourself... you recently went swimming for the first time and LOVED it! You also saw Niagara Falls and had your first hotel sleep over (fun!). You are loving solid foods but want to do everything yourself already (we're in trouble). You LOVE being in your jumper and will try and "jump" even if one of us are holding you, it's actually super cute and hilarious. You just started going to sleep on your own and napping better BUT you haven't quite figured out the night sleeping business (I'm really kinda sorta hoping you're planning on giving me this gift for your 6 month birthday? Mother's Day maybe? I did make you afterall). You have the longest, most crazy hair and I get stopped constantly when we're out in public with people commenting on it. You just realized that any household items are more fun to "play" with (aka put in your mouth) than your own toys. You are now sitting up (but still falling over sometimes, don't worry, we usually catch you - or at least have a pillow behind you). You have staring contests with the dog on a regular basis and he's quite protective of you (he'll get between anyone and you if you're getting upset). You adore your brother and sister, I know I've said this before but it astonishes me daily the way you look at them with such joy and love, it's one of the most pure and beautiful things I have had the pleasure of baring witness too. And know, they look at you that exact same way. Oliver, your rough and tumble brother, is (usually) so kinda and sweet and gentle towards you. He's the first to get a dropped toy or soother or whatever. Annabelle, will actually stop dancing or watching her most favourite show, to help get you to stop crying (and it works, almost every time, she's got a knack that one).

I could go on and on.

6 months has gone by so fast and yet, it's nothing, it's just the beginning. We have so many things to learn about each other, so many memories to make and I hope so so so much more time together.

You, my Lily girl, are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Yes, it was Annabelle who made me a mom, Oliver who made me a boy mom, but it was you sweet girl who put the cherry on top. It was you who completed our family. It was you who made me the mom I'm supposed to be.

So, before I get too sappy (I think that ship may have sailed), Happy half-birthday, and you won't remember this but we did sing you Happy Half Birthday and Annabelle and Oliver threw a little dance party for you at bedtime lol.

I LOVE you my sweet girl and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you.