to Annabelle on her 5th Birthday

Sunday, April 22, 2018


My baby, I know you don't like when I call you that big girl, but you have to know you will always be my baby, even when you're all the way grown. You're the first, you're the one who made me a mom.

I have thought about what I wanted to tell you on your birthday, what I wanted you to know... The thing is, I hope that what I tell you is what you know already, I love you. I love you so big and so fierce that nothing, nothing could ever change it. Even if I'm not around to tell you, my love for you is so giant, you will feel it. Always.

I know I tell you all the time, to the point you tell me "I know mom", but my heart literally beats for you and your brother and sister. No matter how bad your behaviour, I am your mom and I LOVE YOU.

So now that you know that, here's what I want you to know about yourself. You are a bright light. In a world that sometimes feels full of darkness and sadness, you are light. You shine so bright my little star, you always have.

There's a quote on canvas in your room that reads "she leaves a little glitter where ever she goes" and I picked this out because it couldn't capture your essence any better. You sparkle and everywhere you go, everyone you meet, has just a little more of a twinkle from your essence.

You gravitate towards music and dance. You spin and twirl and do all kinds of "routines" around the house that we all love to watch. You're an entertainer through and through you love an audience even when that audience is your 6 month old sister. Truthfully, she might actually be your biggest fan.

No one can talk like you. I still remember people being blown away how early you spoke and how much and how clear. Since you were my first child I just assumed this was normal but in hindsight, you could have an actual conversation much sooner than any child I've ever met. The thing is, since you started talking you haven't stopped. This is something I love but that drives me (and I'm sure your teachers) crazy! I rest assured knowing that you'll never have trouble keeping a conversation going or filling an awkward silence... or any silence for that matter.

When you started school this past September I was a ball of nerves. I was worried how you would manage on your own, how you would make friends, how you would eat your lunches. The truth of the matter is that I was worried how you would do without me and what I would do without knowing all the details of your day. Naturally, you surpassed all expectations. You each your lunch, you open all of the packaging and you have lots of little friends you love to talk about.

The other thing you starting school made us very aware of is how smart you are and how eager to learn you are. You practice letters, writing, math without any instruction or direction or prodding from us. These are the things you want to do and this is how you want to spend your free time at home. Its a remarkable thing to see such a small person so excited about learning. I hope you keep this thirst for knowledge, because it will serve you well.

I admire your memory and your ability to beat me at the "memory" game even when I'm trying my hardest. Seriously, it's embarrassing how many times and how badly I've lost to you. When we first started playing I actually thought I'd have to fake lose... no faking here. Just losing.

Annabelle, you're funny, wild, kind, thoughtful, sweet, hilarious, outgoing.. you're so many amazing things that I couldn't possibly list them all. What you need to know, what you need to take away from this post is that you were meant to be mine. You were meant to be my baby girl and you will always be that, no matter how old you are.

I love you my big girl, to the moon and back and even more than that.