To Oliver on his first birthday

Saturday, July 23, 2016

to my little man who is one today:


One year old.

In so many ways it feels like it was just yesterday when they placed you in my arms for the first time and yet my heart feels like it's been forever since your place in it was claimed.

In such a short time we've been through a lot. All-day "morning" sickness, thyroid issues (thanks for that) but you graced with me with a fairly quick, albeit late and induced, labor and a speedy recovery. The first few months of us getting to know each other were filled with puking (you), crying (both of us) and lots and lots of baby-wearing (due to the crying). It was not easy but we finally found our groove when you were about 5 months old and we sorted out your issues with dairy and got you (and therefore, me) sleeping more.

I remember fretting how I would ever find room in my heart to love another child the way I love your sister. I also remember the instant you were placed in my arms and the palpable feeling of my heart growing, expanding, to make room just for you. You just fit, as though your place in my heart and our family had always been there and we were all just waiting for you to arrive, before you were even a thought.

And here we are.

My handsome boy, my smiley little guy is one.

You're happy most of the time but you've got a temper to be reckoned with. You are busy, my gosh you're busy. I think you're trying to keep up with your sister most of the time which is probably why you took your first steps just before you turned 11 months. For the record, you're now pretty much running.

You're reckless. You've fallen over and over again but you try anything again and again and you want what you want right when you want it. Your determination is both frustrating and admirable.

The love between you and your sister takes my breath away. You've always looked at her different and with such adoration that I can barely capture it in words. She has always made you smile when it seemed no one else could. But be sure, it's reciprocated. She's so proud to call you her little brother and when I picked her up from daycare yesterday I was told that she talked about you and your upcoming birthday ALL day long. I hope this bond between you lasts a lifetime.

Lilo, your dog, has a special spot in your heart. You're usually pretty gentle with him but even when you're not, he tolerates you better than he does anyone else. You two have a bond that's so sweet to witness.

It's funny, you're a terrible teether but then so rough and tumble. You lose your mind teething but then smash your face off the floor and shake it off in seconds.

You are sweet. My gosh you're sweet. Your smile and laugh have the ability to melt my heart in a matter of mere seconds. Your curious grin and up-to-no-good raise of the eye brow render me helpless. I know you can be trouble, but it's of the best kind..

I sometimes feel guilty about our first 4-5 months together. I loved you so much and wanted to make everything okay but, at the time, I had no idea how to do that. I was finding my way as a mom of two, trying to entertain your sister and make you happy (which was seemingly impossible). While I wish we had sorted things out sooner, I am also very grateful that the last 7-8 months have been full of smiles, trips to the park, laughter, sunshine, reading stories and happiness. I'm confident that we made up for our rough start by filling our days since with joy.

My sweet boy, my Ollie bear, happy birthday. You are the cutest, sweetest, most wonderful little boy and I am blessed, truly blessed, every single day to be called your momma.

Love you,


and here's a little photodump for good measure: