#what moms google - all the milestones

Saturday, June 11, 2016


Welcome to #whatmomsgoogle where your two resident hot-mess-moms discuss what real moms are googling. We don't promise to be right but we do promise to be real and it's highly likely you'll leave feeling better about your parenting. Or, at the very least, slightly entertained. 

This week's google search: baby milestones

when will my baby
much like the answer to the first search: whenever the heck they want to be, so too for all the rest of the milestones essentially. Just when you think it's going to happen, it won't and when you're thinking it's going to take forever BAM it's go time. 

It's ALL about the milestones.

You know, all the things that people TELL you (repeatedly) your baby/child should be doing__ weeks/months old. As if all kids follow the exact same timeline.

Newsflash: they DON'T.

I WISH someone would have told me this first time around and maybe reminded of it when the second was born.

mom with two kids
the ONLY thing my kids have ever done at the same time is poop and I'm pretty sure that was completely out of spite. Oh and get hungry, they are ALWAYS hungry at the exact same time and I'm not talking "can we have a snack?" I'm talking "if I don't eat RIGHT THIS SECOND the world will end". On an unrelated note: prepping a meal with two screaming children hanging off or you may or may not be a mommy milestone or maybe just a skill... either way.

I remember very clearly playing the compare game early on with my first. I'd call up my bestie (who had a child very close in age to Annabelle) and we'd go back and forth with what our babies were and weren't doing. Instead of just delighting in the wonder and individual ways our babies were learning to explore the world, we got nervous and questioned. How come her little guy was rolling and my little angel wasn't? How come my little girl was a chatterbox and her little guy was quiet as a mouse?

And the sleep, don't even get me started on sleep milestones. We've already talked about sleep but all I will say about that is you will read baby should sleep through the night by ____. Ya, babies don't get that same memo. Some will sleep through the night as early as a few months (or less) and other **ahem Oliver** will wait until close to a year (thanks buddy, thanks a lot).

Google and I, once again, became tight. It was my go-to both before and after chatting with the bestie. I stressed, much more than I should have, about all the things I thought my child was supposed to be doing.

Oliver smiling
that's a laugh right? not just gas? Google search: how to tell the difference between a gas smile and a real one? Google search: when do babies smile for REAL? 

Oh there you are hindsight being 20/20 and all.

should my 6 month old

talking at 6 months?! Baby Einstein what's up? Also, drinking? hahah shouldn't have cut that one off, I'm guessing "from a cup" followed. One of my kids could use a sippy cup at 6 months the other closer to a year. 

Alright, truth be told I still Googled a ton of stuff the second time around but it was ALL the opposite stuff. My kids look alike but it's very obvious they both had their own agendas as far as milestones go.

All kids are different. They are ALL different. They grow different and learn different and they do so on their own stubborn timelines.

should my 10 month old be crawling on tables?
SOME kids won't crawl until they're 9 months, while others will be climbing the stairs, toys, couches, um tables at 10 months (don't worry, I was RIGHT there and yes, I still had a heart attack *I'll never pee again*).

Guess what? That bestie whose little boy was crawling, rolling and walking all before my little girl? He still does all those things (and quite well - I swear, kid is a sports prodigy) but my little miss caught up in her own time. She might not be able to swing a golf club like him but neither can I for that matter. Also, I realized later that my bestie was comparing the way mini-me was speaking to her little guy because girl started talking early and hasn't stopped. Ever. Like EVER. And that little guy? He's chatting up a storm with the bestof 'em now.

They'll get there.

baby reading to her baby
some babies are early readers, others eat the books **ahem Oliver**

I'm not saying don't look at milestones. It's fun knowing what skills and developments are on the horizon and even things you can do to foster the learning of those new accomplishments. Just don't drive yourself crazy thinking they need to be doing x, y and z just because little Tommy is. Don't worry too much about timelines because, as I said, all kids are different, they have timelines of their own.

when should my baby roll
Just getting rolling down, so proud of himself

when should my baby roll
practicing her rolling skills (while mom and dad may or may not have been binge watching Lost)

Now, having said all that, you still need to be aware or markers for concern.

The CDC has a great site with tons of information and I really like how they frame the developmental milestones. They break it down by age and have a "what most babies are doing", which to me means your baby might not be doing that and that's OK. They also have an "act early by talking to your doctor if" section which lists things that might be markers for concern. It goes all the way up to 5.

Now don't pretend you didn't just click that link and start comparing all your children! I did that before writing the previous paragraph lol.

trying on mom's shoes
each child will try on their first pair of heels in their own time, but rest assured, it will happen, and you will need to be camera ready

Charts and internet resources aside, YOU are momma (or dad or guardian or whatever the case may be) and YOU know when something is up. Some people downplay mother's intuition or write it off as paranoia but I'm telling you, it's legit. Trust your gut. If you truly think there's something a miss, talk to your doctor.

Now, you're gonna have to come back next week because we're talking mommy milestones and you KNOW you want to see how your doing lol

Now rush over to see what Abbie Answered. She's the funny one  and she's not only talking about milestones but sharing some she came up with... and they're pretty hilarious (and crazy accurate!).

AND don't forget to come back next week to see how we answer your burning mom questions... or questions about burning something. Whatever.

Click HERE to ask... you know you want to.