Dear "It Works":
You're ruining my Instagram feed.
Seriously. Just stick one of those bestsellers over your mouth for a minute and hear me out.
When in the heck did every other person on Instagram become an It Works pusher?
What's the deal?
I'm all for tactfully selling your product/service via the world wide web (does anyone call it that anymore? just me?) but this is getting ridiculous.
It's gotten to be too much. I'm already overwhelmed with social media and you're making it nearly impossible.
I get a little excited every time I see a new follow or direct message only to be disappointed when I see your feed of green tiny squares.
You do know that every time you contact me about your products, you're basically saying "hey momma, you're fat, you need this". Come ON! I've got enough issues with my post-two-babies-body that I don't need you reminding me that I still have a pouch, cellulite and saddlebags (btw, thanks for making me write that on the internet, jerk).
Unless I can use above-mentioned wraps to restrain my trantruming toddler or to stop my curious babe from getting into all the things, I am NOT interested. One day I'll work out and eat right, you know, the old fashioned way of getting in shape.
My hair, skin and nails are just fine thank you. Minus the falling out, redness and peeling. Whatever. Stop judging me.
Here's the deal: if I look at your Instagram profile and see more products than selfies, I'm NOT following you. If I look at your profile and see that every other post is urging people to join your team, I'm NOT following you. Yes, I know I could make a bajillion dollars by becoming a fellow-pusher, but then no one would like me anymore.
Also, just because I liked your picture or commented on a non-It Works related picture (which I did because I thought you genuinely liked and commented on one of my pics and I'm nice like that) does NOT mean I want a direct message from you urging me to join your team and pleading with me to grab the always present "last spot".
You want to build a relationship with me? Cool, do that but please don't pretend to give a crap and then pounce on me when I respond to a comment.
FYI: hashtags are so like-minded people can see what others are posting on a certain topic. Hashtags are NOT an open invitation to Insta-spam every mother on the planet and body-sham her. How do you know she's not back to her pre-baby body?
Let's get back to pics of your kid making a face, the sandwich you ate for lunch, the tree outside your front door or the shoes you wore yesterday. Please.
**you can substitute "It Works" for pretty much any of those 'products'... you know the ones I mean**
***yes, I know I ask you to read my blog, but that's free and at least I'm not calling you fat AND I don't do it every.single.post. So there.***
YES, I know, not all reps are like this, I have some It Works peeps that I follow and built real relationships with. The difference? They never try to sell me stuff!!!! Don't be mad at me.... but don't pretend you ALL don't know what I'm talking about. You wanna make relationships? Super, but don't pretend to like me and then repeatedly call me fat. NOT cool.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Let me wrap you in a hug... it's 40% off, for a limited time ONLY and I only have 2 spots left.
That is all.
Off to go take a post-workout selfie with a wrap on my belly and drink my shakeology while burning essential oils.