a beautiful moment

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

As a busy mom I don’t have a lot of time to process things when and the way I would like, to work through emotions from the day’s events, whatever those might be.

The world lost a beautiful person yesterday and I spent a chunk of today holding back the tears for fear of the confused reactions of my two children, too young to understand grief.

I decided to forgo my workout video tonight and offered to shovel the driveway instead. I figured it would be a good way to get a workout and fresh air.

I shoveled and I shoveled. Wet and heavy snow almost too heavy for me to lift. I chopped at the thick snow and ice and I threw, I threw those shovels full of snow with all my worldly might. It hurt my muscles but fed my soul. Every bit of frustration, sense of injustice and unfairness, I took it out on that snow.

I breathed heavily and wore out quickly but I kept going.

Our normally busy street was strangely quiet. No cars passed and no one, save one lone man who walked by, head in his phone, led by his little dog.

Then it started to snow.

First it was soft and then it was everywhere.

It was one of those big snows The type of snow that seems to fill every inch of the sky. Giant fluffy flakes floating, weightlessly nearly suspended in the sky. .

I stopped. I stopped and just stood in the driveway staring up at the moon through a snow-filled sky. Then I smiled. On a day where I have felt so very sad, I smiled. A big, huge and genuine smile.

I looked at the snow, piling up at my feet and picked up my shovel. I went back to work. 

Despite the fact that all my effort seemed so very frivolous. Despite the fact that I could have easily been pissed off and given up, I continued, I continued where I wouldn't have before.

Instead of feeling frustrated, I embraced the moment. This beautiful, quiet, peaceful moment. A gift.

I smiled because I thought of you, because I know I’m not the only person who has changed, I’m not the only person able to enjoy a moment because of the message you shared.

Thank you.




4 comments:

  1. I donated blood today and thought of Nicole. So sorry for your loss.

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  2. Beautiful. Honest and just so damn real. There isn't anything to say to make it better, but thank you for sharing this.

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  3. Been thinking of you!! Wonderful post...thank you for sharing it with us!! Prayers and hugs!!

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