First, how much should I filter this?
Like no F-bombs, right?
Okay, no F-bombs, good call.
Today was a long day. Really long. Like the kind of day where you're counting down the minutes until bedtime (the children's, not yours... okay maybe yours too... okay, maybe just counting down until you can have a glass of wine).
I honestly think my children sometimes have chats when I'm not around (ignore the fact my nearly 5 month old is clearly not verbal yet - my kids are advanced, but not that advanced).
I think it goes like this:
Annabelle: I'm going to be really good this morning so you really need to cry a lot, okay?
Oliver: Perfect, I'll refuse to nap but be grumpy because I'm soooooo tired.
Annabelle: Sounds good. As soon as you fall asleep, I'll poop.
Oliver: Good idea. I'll only nap 30 minutes so she'll spend half that changing you. How about I'll be all smiles around 5pm and you can have a tantrum because mom gave you carrots and you wanted pasta.
Annabelle: You read my mind.
On that note. The funniest thing happened today. Okay, it was funny to me, Annabelle, not so much. She was very excited for a cupcake so she got one after supper (don't even ask how long it took to eat supper).
Then she dropped it. On the floor. Then the dog ate it.
You wanna see toddler armageddon? Watch them watch their dog eat their cupcake.
It was like he ripped her tiny little heart out with every chomp (all two of them).
I had to turn away because, really, it's a cupcake and there are approximately 23 other cupcakes sitting a mere 3 feet away from her. Perhaps I was just laughing because of my extreme state of exhaustion OR the reminder that life could, in fact, be much worse. Sure, I get no sleep EVER but at least the dog didn't eat my cupcake. I mean, really.
When I pulled my shit together (read: stopped laughing) and offered her another cupcake, all was well with the world again. But she's now very quick to tell you about the ordeal (and very emphatically at that):
Before you ask, yes, I'm confident she'll be an actress!