why mothers don't sleep: random thoughts and achy boobs

Monday, November 23, 2015

Little man normally wakes up regularly to eat (like every 2 hours). I'd like to be thankful when he sleeps in long stretches but instead, I don't sleep for other reasons. Here's kind of how it goes in my head:

wakes suddenly

He isn't up yet? What time is it?

What if he woke up and I slept right through it?

checks time on phone

WHOA. It's 4:10am. He went down at 7pm. That can't be right.

WHAT is that pain in my boob? Too long with no feeding. Wow that hurts.

glances at video monitor

Is he breathing? I don't think he's breathing,

quickly grab monitor for closer inspection

Wow that hurt. My chest is on fire.

Oh god, I seriously don't think he's breathing. He's not moving. not even a little. I should go in there.

No, don't go in there, don't wake a sleeping baby.

But, what if he's not breathing?

What if I went back to sleep and he really wasn't breathing?

Geez, he kicked his blankets off, he's probably cold. I should really go in there.

goes to baby's room, dutifully checks breathing (all good) and covers with blanket

Good, he's okay. Seriously, though, my boobs are killing me. Should I pump? Ugh, It's all the way downstairs. No, go back to sleep.

Oh he's stirring. Shit. I woke him up. Oh wait, no he's gone back to sleep.

He kicked the blanket off again. He's going to freeze.

Maybe I should just feed him quick? I can't sleep with my boobs aching like this. Plus, he's got to be hungry.

I'm hungry.

feeds baby and puts back in crib

Is that him crying? It's only 6am.

Why doesn't my baby sleep? I'm so tired.