We're doing okay as far as the material things go, we've got a roof over our heads and both my husband and I have permanent jobs. We have plenty of food in the fridge and cupboards and our children don't ever go without. We all have clothes to wear that are clean and that fit us (well, I use the term 'fit' loosely given that I had a baby two and a half months ago).
Sure, I am thankful for those things but I don't say it.
In fact, I haven't said I am thankful for a lot these days.
I feel like I have spent a lot of time complaining and nagging recently and haven't been intentional about appreciating the people and things around me.
But today, today was a shitty day. I won't get into the details but it was not a good day. I had a fairly tumultuous morning and was running on very little sleep (thank you little man for waking up EVERY two hours EVERY night). I was also parenting both children on my own all day which is challenging at it's best.
Can you see where this is going?
Ya, I thought it would mean meltdown city for this momma too.
Something strange happened. I surprised myself.
My glass half-empty self made a decision. After a chain of really crappy events, I made a call: I want to make this a good day for my kids and that's EXACTLY what I did.
I ventured out to the mall with both children in tow and didn't even have a freak-out when little man had world's worst blowout. Instead, I was thankful for the toys in the nursing room to keep mini-me busy and that I had remembered to back an extra outfit *whew*
I was also thankful for some pretty awesome family members who came to keep me company at the mall and pre-occupy mini-me while I fed little man.
I was thankful for the short naps little man took instead of being frustrated he wasn't sleeping longer. Those short naps meant I got to play horses with mini-me and have a little dance party in the playroom (playroom = our dining room filled to the brim with toys).
Instead of nagging my toddler ALL day, I took a step back and enjoyed her curiosity, her zest for life and how absolutely hilarious she is. Seriously, this kid is a non-stop comedy hour.
Today I'm so thankful for toddler giggles and baby smiles.
Like I said, the day didn't start well, but it was a good day. I smiled and laughed with my children. My house didn't get cleaned but my children felt loved. We watched cartoons instead of doing dishes and we sang songs instead of vacuuming.
Today I find myself thankful, thankful for shitty starts to the day that remind you how lucky you are. Today I am thankful for the dishes that aren't washed, the floors that aren't cleaned and the laundry that isn't folded. I am thankful for those things because they mean my two beautiful children had their mommy's full attention and they felt that. I know they felt that because they both went to bed with smiles on their faces and so will I.
Happy (Canadian) thanksgiving... I hope you're having a good day but even more, I hope that if you're not, you're able to turn it around and find the good in it.
photograph by MillerEllis