Monday in a minute (June 30, 2014)

Monday, June 30, 2014

Friday off, today as a vacation day and tomorrow is a holiday. YAY long weekends.

Mr. B was dad of the year (again) on Sat. which mean this momma had an awesome day with one of her besties and a super fun night!! More on that later (I only have a minute after all)

I should have spent more time cleaning the house/folding laundry this past weekend but instead, we hung out in the backyard and enjoyed the sunshine. I stand by my decision.

The BBQ Mr. B got for Father's Day has been getting daily use. It's been WAY too hot to cook indoors!

I love guacamole. AND I make the best guacamole EVER. Just sayin'.

here's my cutes patoots chillin'


my favs this week (June 27, 2014)

Friday, June 27, 2014

I woke up last Saturday morning, ready to head up to my friend's cottage and realized quickly I didn't do a Friday Favs post. Blogger FAIL. It was bound to happen.

Back on track. Hoping to do a quick top 3:




  1. Tribal print top - this top from Forever21 is seriously my new fav. I've worn it twice and have gotten so many compliments. For under $25, it's pretty much my best summer purchase thus far.

  2. AG Toning shampoo - if you have blonde hair, you absolutely need to own this. My freshly highlighted hair always stays a nice blonde instead of turning a brassy orange color. You know what I'm talking about. Blondes: just buy it. NOW.
  3. Mikasa Cheers wine glasses - at this point, it's pretty clear how I feel about red wine. L.O.V.E. Here's the thing, red wine is way better out of a decent glass. I may be making that up, but I believe it to be true. I registered for these glasses when we got married because my best friend had them and I loved using them. A good weight and cute designs. The other bonus, they go on sale ALL of the time, so never pay full price. They aren't super cheap but also not expensive enough that you'll be devastating when someone breaks one (i.e. Mr. B last week).
Have a great weekend :) 

what I wore Wednesday: Summer Style Challenge (week 2)

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The last week has been a busy one. Nothing earth-shattering, but busy enough that I don't feel like I have it together. Thankfully, getting dressed is less of an issue when someone else is telling me what to wear. Thank you Alison.

I've deviated a few times (apparently, I don't own ANY khaki bottoms. Gotta get on that) but because I'm posting pics, I'm trying to still look half-decent (great way to keep me accountable). 

I also insisted that Mr. B help with the pics because every other blog I read has such great pics. Clearly, we're not there yet but we're working on it. I'm jealous of my blogger friends who just so happen to look like models all the time, live with professional photographers and/or have mad photo-editing skills. I fall in none of those categories so my wee blog won't be winning any photography awards anytime soon. This is likely not helped by the fact that most all of my pics are taken with an iphone. C'est la vie.

So here ya go....

Wednesday
Supposed to be paired with khaki shorts but I don't own khaki bottoms

Thursday
Still loving these print pants from Old Navy and I am finally feeling like I'm not wearing pjs when I wear them ;)

 Friday
Before you ask, the top is from Forever21 and yes, it's my new fav (seriously, how cute is it?!)

Saturday
I did it, I bought a fedora and I kinda love it! This was my cottage/girl's day outfit.
check out my furry photobomber (sneaky pup)

 Sunday
Off to an outdoor wedding shower. I bought this dress at Old Navy in the fall for $15, SCORE!

Monday
The maxi is back, okay it didn't actually go anywhere (I just haven't been posting pics). I'm still loving it.

Tuesday
Day off + personal training appt = workout clothes
Hey, at least I'm actually wearing workout clothes to workout in (as opposed to doing EVERYthing in). PROGRESS!

Proof, that even on my day off and after the gym, I did somewhat pull it together!

my first GIVEAWAY ends tonight at 8pm so enter HERE (while you still have time) for your chance to win some amazing mascara and nail polish ($35-40 value). 

LINK UPS! Check out some of my fellow summer style challengers.
I'm also linking up with Get Your Pretty On, Because Shanna Said So, The Pleated Poppy, and Musings of a Housewife




Monday in a minute (June 23, 2014)

Monday, June 23, 2014

It's seriously Monday again. Already?

Here's what's up:

Super frustrated that my blogger reading list isn't working. I swear I WANT to read and comment on all your new entries but it hasn't been working since yesterday. WAAAAAHHHH (yes, that's me crying).

Mr. B wants to watch baseball ALL the time. I also love the Blue Jays but I'm DYING to watch Orange is the New Black (season 2, obviously). If you don't know what I'm talking about, google it. Then watch it. You're welcome.

I wish the weekend had another day. Or two.

I really want chocolate right now and I don't have any. Red wine it is.

My first Giveaway ends tomorrow!!! Enter HERE for your chance to win!!


So there's my life in a few min. Until next time...

this little cute patutes turned 14months yesterday and still isn't walking. Might have something to do with the tippy-toes

fostering friendships is good for the soul

Sunday, June 22, 2014

When you become a mom your world changes, your priorities change. Whether you want it to happen or not, relationships change.

I was so fortunate when I went off on mat leave (besides the whole year-long maternity leave in Canada) that two of my close friends had recently had babies too. Throughout my year off, I had two amazing women to connect to, vent to, commiserate with, cry with, and have play dates with.

Mat leave ends and the reality of being a working mom quickly kicks in. Some days it's all I can do to get everyone fed and dressed. Cleaning the house has now become an 'extra' and there are few  moments where I feel like I have it under control. Let alone make time for myself. Let alone make time to foster relationships with my girlfriends.

Once again, I am so so fortunate to have a few amazing girlfriends but my contact with them has been sporadic at best since mini-me became my world.

I am trying to make a conscientious effort to focus on myself a little more. I have mentioned before that I am trying to take more time for myself (demand it even), get (moderately) healthy and fit, and just start feeling like my life is more balanced.



Here's where my friends come in. I have noticed, that spending time fostering good friendships IS me time. It IS so important to my well-being.

The point: I have been trying to make an effort to connect more with the people who matter to me and that absolutely qualifies as 'me time' and serves to make me feel like I've had a break and like I'm something in addition to being a mom, wife and an employee (and obviously I am more but it doesn't always feel that way).

Saturday morning Nancy and I headed up to Kelley's cottage. Despite having to leave early Sunday morning (because life calls) we had an AMAZING time. It wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, I could (should) have thoroughly enjoyed another day on the dock. But it was exactly what I needed. I needed that girl-time, I needed that recharge and kid-free time to just get back to some friendships that are really important to me. To get back to that part of me that misses girl-chats and spending time with people who know me as more than a wife, mom or employee.

PLUS having fun drinks and delicious food is always high on my list ;)



It wasn't anything extravagant - we pretty much hung out on the dock all day long (in the most beautiful weather EVER!). We ordered wood-fired pizza that Jacqui picked up on her way to join us. Had an awesome dinner and then headed back down to the dock to have some drinks and snacks while watching the sunset. The night ended with the usual 'girl talk' until an early bedtime of 11pm. It was perfect.




I've reconnected with a few people lately and it's honestly made me feel more whole. Those important friendships validate my existence outside of my wife, mom, employee roles (which seem all-consuming at times). I am so lucky to have such amazing women to call my friends. Besides a recap, the point of this post is to inspire you to foster those relationships that are important for you. It isn't always easy or convenient to fit it in, but it's always worth it.




So to my other friends, look out, I'll be asking for a date soon ;)


Beauty and the beast (Nicole and cancer)

Thursday, June 19, 2014

I know a girl, a beautiful girl and then she got cancer and something very surprising happened. She became even more beautiful.

she dyed and chopped off her long blonde hair before cancer could take it from her

I used to work with Nicole for years. We haven't intentionally hung out in a long time (and when we did it was usually with coworkers and drinks were involved), but I am always happy to see her smiling face when I go to the restaurant we worked at together.

She's one of those people that is just genuinely happy, sweet and kind. She's a beautiful person, inside and out. We are Facebook friends so I've been fortunate to follow her life after we stopped working together. Her boyfriend, turned fiance, turned husband. Her super cute dog. Their first house and their wedding. In so many ways our lives are very similar. Maybe that's why I feel so compelled to write about her story, it could easily be me... or any other one of my friends or family members. Cancer doesn't discriminate.

I was on Facebook one day, wasting time as I tend to do on Facebook, and I happened upon one of Nicole's posts. She was announcing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer two days prior. My heart sank and then I read one of her next comments about not having to shave her legs for the summer. She was making a joke (and a funny one at that). Her positivity since then has been nonstop.

the hair transformation continues - seriously, this girl can rock any style/color



I don't have to think about it for a second. Of course you can write about me, I would be honoured if you would tell my story. There's a lot of days I'm not feeling well, or I'm sad, but I would never let it show. Everyone has been so supportive and claim to be inspired by me.. That makes it all worth while. If I can make a difference in just one persons life, then it makes it all worth it. I believe I'm meant to do this, that I can help people.

mohawk style with a smile (and a pretty cute dog!)


I won't get into the injustice of someone so young, so kind and so beautiful getting cancer. I can't do that because I know she'd hate it. Nicole has been very clear, she wants no pity. She goes out of her way not to feel sorry for herself and would not like anyone else doing it for her. She has chosen not to wallow in anger, sadness and utter frustration (not that we'd blame her if she did). She has chosen to fight, and fight shes. I don't know if she has chosen to be a role model, but a role model she is. I trust and hope young people (or anyone) that sees her, reads her story and knows that they too can fight and will win. Can smile, laugh and have hope.

It's next to impossible to capture the ways Nicole has moved me. The numbers of times I've felt compelled to send her a message. Sure, I want to know how she's doing but mostly I want to say "you're a rockstar". I can only begin to imagine how Nicole is impacting every one who crosses her path. Her family, friends, fellow chemo patients. She is changing lives with her positivity. I know this with everything in me.

absolutely stunning! And tell me that smile isn't contagious!!


She bravely cut off and later shaved her hair so cancer couldn't take that from her. She and her mom (who is also a breast cancer survivor) dress up for Nicole's treatments and bake cupcakes and cookies for everyone they run into.

As most Facebookers know, people complain about everything (guilty) and it is rare to see a positive or optimistic message let alone an entire newsfeed. Reading about Nicole's diagnosis and then seeing all of her optimism, positivity and absolutely radiant smiles just does something to me. It caused (and continues to cause me) pause. She has been routinely encouraging people to do something nice for someone else just because. It is a truly beautiful thing.

Nicole and her momma all dressed up in just one of their weekly costumes (made by her mom). They brought cookies and cupcakes that week to staff and patients at the hospital. 


How do I stay so positive? It's like I said today in the interview, I don't let myself feel otherwise. There's no room for negativity. Every day is a blessing and I will find the positives. Also hugely comes down to all of you and the role social media has played in my recovery. It's all the positive msgs telling me I can do it, that I'm beautiful, and most importantly making a difference to someone that keeps me going.


So why did I want to write about Nicole? Her ongoing story is uplifting in the most unexpected ways. Her positive spirits is impossible to ignore. She makes me (and countless others) smile on a daily basis, despite whatever pain she is in. Most of all, she motivates me to try and be more positive and to take the time give some of my energy to make someone else's day just a little bit better.


As far as what I want people to get out of it.. I want people to know that it's ok. That no matter what you're going through, whether it's cancer, another disease, or just a rough patch that it's still worth fighting. Or at least trying. I could be puking but you'd still see me walk out with a smile. It's all about perception and I strongly believe that the mind controls the body. I may have cancer, but I still consider myself healthy. Mentally I'm the strongest I've ever been if that makes sense.. And that just comes down to the effort I've been putting into it.


No one chooses to get sick but Nicole makes a choice every day to fight and be strong and the support she receives from others only fosters that amazing and courageous spirit. Nicole is impacting people who are in turn impacting her. Her positive outlook is inspiring many and all the feedback of inspiration only makes her will stronger.


At the relay for life. Beautiful as always (and a pretty kick-ass wig I might add!)


Cancer is a monster. A cruel and unyielding beast. But it ain't got nothing on Nicole. Cancer might take her hair but it sure as hell isn't taking her spirit.







Celebrating - GIVEAWAY style!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

My new little blog hit a milestone today! 10,000th pageview!!!

Yes, I realize that in the grand scheme of things, especially in the blog-world, this really isn't a big deal. BUT, having started my blog not quite three months ago and not being able to dedicate nearly as much time as I'd like to it, I'm pretty excited about this. 10,000 just seems like a significant number to me.

soooooooo, what better way to celebrate and share the love then by doing my first GIVEAWAY!!!! Because, who doesn't like free stuff? And the only thing better then free stuff is AWESOME free stuff.

Here's what I'm giving away: one lucky reader will be receiving two of my favorite things

They're Real mascara AND Essie nail polish (in a fun summer shade of my choosing!)

I wrote about why I ADORE They're Real here and my love of Essie is found here and here





To enter, see Rafflecopter thing below and click on whatever way you want to enter (you can get up to 9 entries if you enter all the possible ways)! The contest will end next Tuesday at 8pm and I'll announce the winner that night!!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

GOOD LUCK!

what I wore Wednesday: Summer Style Challenge

Yes, I may have mentioned the Style Challenge once or twice on here. WELL round two, aka the Summer Style Challenge, has begun and with it came a whole new set of 'must-haves' and new style outfits emailed nightly.

It seriously makes getting ready that much easier and anything that makes my life easier is essential.

I think almost everyone who participated in the spring challenge is along for the ride for the new summer edition. AND I managed to get a few of my real life friends on board!!! YAY!! I'm hoping they love it just as much as I do!

Alright, down to business... here's what I've been wearing so far:

Monday



Tuesday

I wasn't sure how I felt about the denim vest but I'm kinda loving it (Mr. B said I look like I'm bringing back the 80s - haha)


Stayed turned on Wednesdays for the next 19 days of outfits!

Other fun stuff, linking up with even more ladies this time around - check them out to see how they interpreted the outfits!



Monday in a minute

Monday, June 16, 2014

Monday AGAIN. Which means we're back to being in a rush all. the. time.

This is round two of my quick Monday post that I try and write in a few minutes. Here goes...

NEW BLOG design!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So so so excited about this! I can't take any credit for it (okay, that's a lie, I picked out colors) but I'm so happy with how it turned out!! Check out all the fun clicky-things to the right!

My personal trainer is the devil. I nearly puked today. Okay, I actually love her, but my legs don't right now.

Style Challenge started today! Wooohooo! Stay tuned for What I Wore Wednesdays to see my outfits AND I will be linking up with some other awesome ladies from the challenge.

Mini-me is sleeping again. Thank the lord!

Father's day was awesome, we spoiled Mr. B. HELLO new BBQ!

There may be a giveaway in the blogs near future!



That's it. Record time. I'll leave you with some adorableness


my favs this week: healthy style

Friday, June 13, 2014

To suggest I've been a model health conscious individual as of late would be nothing short of a lie; however, I'm making a more conscientious effort to be a little more healthy.

I am trying to work out more. I previously mentioned I signed up with a personal trainer. Well, unfortunately, she was on vacation for 2.5 weeks after my first two  sessions. The first full week she was away I did NOTHING. Then I realized when she comes back, the first workout is going to kick my a$$ because she'll be assuming I've been doing something in the meantime.

So I joined a gym. No, I'm not going daily. BUT I've made it a few times a week and I feel good about that.

This brings me to my fav this week. SPIN CLASS!!!

I went last night for the first time in years and I was quickly reminded why I love (and hate) it soooo much. It's a great cardio workout, it goes by pretty fast, and it's kinda fun.

Warning: if you've never been to spin before, your butt will kill for a few solid days following your first class (I think my sub-conscious blocked that memory but OW).

Why I love spin:

  • 45 min and you burn anywhere from 400-700 calories (it's a wide range because it really depends on how much effort you put in). Workout efficiency at it's best!
  • you get super sweaty. Maybe this is twisted, but there's something fulfilling about leaving a class soaking wet with sweat. It just feels like it was super good for you.
  • variety - you don't do any one pace/resistance for too long. 
  • music - if you have a good instructor, there's lots of awesome music and at varying paces.
  • it's addictive. Seriously, once you go once you'll want to go more and there can't be anything wrong with actually wanting to workout. 
I have never really liked working out. My biggest battle is actually getting to the gym but once I'm there I always feel I made the right decision.

I will leave you with a quote (I have tried to find who originally said it but to no avail)

"the only workout you'll ever regret is the one you didn't do"
until  next time...

what I wore Wednesday: poop edition

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

WARNING: this post might gross some people out.

I'm not going to skirt around the issue. There is a definite possibility that I went to work (and a meeting prior to going into the office) with poop on my shirt. Yup. I am still hoping it was something else but I don't feel confident either way.

How did this happen? Well, naturally because I was running late (as per usual since childbirth) mini-me had a blow-out right before we needed to leave the house. I quickly weighed my options: 1. change her now 2. plead ignorance when we arrived at daycare ("I think she might have pooped on the way here").

In the interest of being honest and the potential guilt of causing a diaper rash, I changed her bum. It was worse than I thought. I'll spare you the gory details but suffice to say she not only needed a new diaper, but new pants and socks and a thorough "baby wipe bath". Awesome.

After a quick wash of my hands, we were on our way.

Hours later I look down and see green on my shirt. I quickly recalled everything I ate and drank that morning and realized nothing was even remotely green. Weird. And then I remembered earlier that morning. "Oh God no, it couldn't be". I debated going on my lunch and buying a new shirt (because obviously that makes more sense then going home and changing) but opted to try and wash it out. Miraculously, I was back to normal (minus the fact it looked like someone spilled a liter of water down the front of me) except for the shame of potentially walking around with a shirt that could have had poop on it.

Being a mom is uber-glamorous for anyone wondering.

At least it wasn't on my face.

Poop aside, I did wear stuff this week. Naturally, as per the last few weeks, I'm a pic-taking failure.
Here's what you get:

Super casual (and inexpensive shirt),dressed up with leopard flats and some gold jewelry

You've seen this outfit a billion times... it's one of my new "I don't know what to wear" outfits

The Summer Style Challenge list has been released and shopping has begun (although I haven't technically bought anything yet :S). I NEED to get my shop on ASAP.

Lastly, linkups! Linking up this week with: Get Your Pretty On, The Pleated Poppy, Because Shanna Said So

One-minute Monday post

Monday, June 9, 2014

I don't have nearly enough time to devote as much as I'd like to this blog. I would love to post more but continue to struggle with the work-mom-me balance. Enter one-minute Monday.

It's a race against the clock. I'm writing a blog post in a minute(ish).

The easiest way to that is to share something I know you'll love because I love it. Sooooo today I'm sharing something from an awesome lady I met recently. Shelly's blog "100 Things 2 Do" is definitely worth checking out (as evidenced by the awesomeness I'm about to share).

Check out Shelly's blog for super awesome stuff.




until  next time...

my favs this week: father's day edition

Friday, June 6, 2014

A lot of us are having to think quickly about what to get our dads/husbands/grandfathers for Father's Day next weekend.

If you're like me, you wait til the last minute and make a really quick decision. My dad usually ends up with all of the fishing supplies I can find (that don't smell or look too much like real dead things).

I'm on the fence what to get Mr. B, but on the off-chance he reads this, I need to keep my ideas to myself for now (be prepared, this one could be a doozy - is that how you spell doozy? is doozy even a word?).

Sooooo what you're going to get, is a list of things I think dads/husbands/grandfathers might appreciate for Father's day this year. I'm helpful like that.




  1. Tools - I should have prefaced this by saying I got a lot of help from Mr. B (a little sneaky, yes, because now I have tons of ideas). He didn't say any tools in particular, so I guess you really need to know your dad/husband/grandpa well. Regarless, Mr. B seems to think tools are a great gift (I'm confident that I will NOT be getting him tools. Sorry Mr. B).
  2. Wireless bluetooth speaker - I didn't even know this was a thing until I was asking Mr. B for ideas and he told me about his friends speaker. Apparently this is the thing to have (who knew?!). They range in price from 14.99 - 799.99 (whoa) so there's room for every budget.
  3. A round of golf - if your dad is anything like mine, he loves his golf. Certificates for a round often go on sale so you can keep it affordable and your dad will save the fees. It's the perfect gift if the man in your life likes golf in the slightest (plus, super easy at the last minute as most places sell them online).
  4. BEER - this was Mr. B's idea. He actually said "booze'. I'm going to suggest you think about it a little but more and perhaps do a beer of the month membership where they get a fun new beer sent to them every month to try. While you're at it, hook me up with a membership ;)
  5. Something homemade - if you have kids, this is your ticket to freedom. Slap a handprint on a piece of paper and you have a gift. Write something remotely mushy and you're mother of the year. For real. The actual baseball with a handprint I don't recommend trying until your children are much older. Apparently babies put their ink-covered hands in their mouths, on the bed, on your face, on anything white etc. Chill on the handprints until they're older not to unintentionally touch everything.
  6. Homecooked dinner - again, Mr. B's idea. As if I don't make him dinner almost every day. I think he meant a dinner tailored very specificaly to him. At least I hope that's what he meant.
  7. Sports tickets - it's not only the gift of the tickets, but assuming you attend with, it's the gift of your company AND a day out (ideally without children). I KNOW Mr. B is DYING to attend a Jays game. I'm working on it.
  8. A day off - if you're lucky like me, you have a husband who does nearly half of the parenting/chores/household stuff. A day off is something that doesn't come easy or often. One day to sleep-in, not do chores, and to watch stupid movies all day (I literally cannot watch Ghostbusters one more time!) might be all they need to make/keep them happy.

a response to "The day I left my son in the car"

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

In one of my mommy groups we have posts called "Unpopular Opinions" and I have a feeling the following rant may, in fact, be unpopular to many. Regardless, after reading this article about a woman who left her child alone in a car (on purpose) and the events that followed, I felt inclined to write my opinion (because people care, right?!). Let's call it cathartic, I need to get it out.

This entry is in response to an article I read today: The day I left my son in the car

I can't adequately summarize the lengthy essay so to understand fully what I'm talking about, feel free to give it a read.

My (very) brief synopsis: mom left her 4 year old in the car while she ran into a store for 5 min (it was a cool day, he was ready to throw a tantrum wanted to happily stay in the car playing on an ipad), a bystander recorded it and called police, mom was later charged and the court case went on for some time. She ended up with community service. She wrote a lot about people feeling for her, understanding her actions and basically saying that we are way over protective as a society.

"I took a deep breath. I looked at the clock. For the next four or five seconds, I did what it sometimes seems I’ve been doing every minute of every day since having children, a constant, never-ending risk-benefit analysis. I noted that it was a mild, overcast, 50-degree day. I noted how close the parking spot was to the front door, and that there were a few other cars nearby. I visualized how quickly, unencumbered by a tantrumming 4-year-old, I would be, running into the store, grabbing a pair of child headphones. And then I did something I’d never done before. I left him. I told him I’d be right back. I cracked the windows and child-locked the doors and double-clicked my keys so that the car alarm was set. And then I left him in the car for about five minutes."

Again, READ THE STORY.

Here are my (somewhat disjointed) thoughts.

The feel of the essay is that it was written partially to rationalize and excuse her decision to leave a four year old unattended in a car. Yes, she does say she never did it again, she does say she second guessed herself before doing it, and a few times implies that it wasn't ideal. She never outright says she made a bad decision.

She goes on to talk a lot about how over-protective we are as a society and how things used to be. I get that. I often talk about how when I was younger (probably too young), I was able to literally roam the small town with lived in with little to no restrictions or supervision. Sure, my behavior wasn't always ideal, but I never got hurt or caused too much trouble. My mom didn't worry I was going to get kidnapped. Do we live in the same world? I honestly don't know but it sure doesn't feel like it. Maybe I'm just one of those over-protective moms she talks about, but some risks I'm not willing to take.

I digress.

Yes, we're over protective. We don't need to follow our kids everywhere and hover over them until they're 18 (despite the overwhelming urge to do so). Her son was four. FOUR. Again, we are overprotective, we (as a society) may be trying to protect our children from risk and harm that isn't always present. I get it. But in this case it truly feels like she's using the whole overprotective epidemic as an excuse for a really crappy judgement call.




To stop being overprotective we need to first start disciplining children (and by discipline I mean having rules, fostering respect and manners, and giving children structure and consistency NOT spanking). We then need to give them freedom. Freedom that takes into consideration the child's age and stage. For instance, letting a responsible 10 year old (I partially say 10 because I know that's the age children are 'allowed' to be home alone here) home after school, or not hovering over your child learning to walk (so hard), not jumping up like a lunatic every time your child falls, making them own mistakes, not scolding teachers for not giving kids grades they didn't earn etc. That doesn't mean we throw safety and caution out the window and it sure as heck doesn't mean we leave four year olds alone in cars in parking lots. It's just my opinion but in my opinion that's just not okay. No way, no how.

No, it wasn't hot out, yes you locked the doors, and sure, you only took 5 minutes. You can't predict what can happen in an intended five minutes. I never intend to take more than 5 minutes in Walmart, but it never fails I pick the longest line, the debit is down, I run into everyone I've ever me in my life, and I knock over a display of sunscreen. Sh!t happens. 5 minutes is rarely 5 minutes. Regardless, a lot can go down in 5 minutes and a four year old simply doesn't have the capacity to react rationally, safely and responsibly should something unpredictable happen.

The essay also vilifies the bystander who took the video and called police. It suggested said bystander should have said something to the mother, or that they were a jerk who was simply hiding out in the parking lot, judging parents and sitting in 'wait' to cause trouble for someone. Assumptions much?!

"I picture this concerned someone standing beside my car, inches from my child, holding a phone to the window, recording him as he played his game on the iPad. I imagined the person backing away as I came out of the store, watching me return to the car, recording it all, not stopping me, not saying anything, but standing there and dialing 911 as I drove away. Bye now. At this point, almost a year had passed since it happened. I could hear my lawyer shuffling papers. I looked down and saw that my hands were shaking. My hands were shaking, but unlike before, I wasn’t afraid. I was enraged."

Isn't it much more likely that someone in the parking lot saw a mom leaving a pre-schooler in a car and thought 'that doesn't seem right' and video-taped it (because who isn't armed with an iphone these days?). How would the bystander know mom was only planning to run in for 5 minutes (although I don't think that matters anyways)? Why is this person the 'bad guy'?

I just can't comprehend the outrage at this person. Feels a little like deflection to me.

Despite my frustration with this article I really do agree with some of her points but it simply didn't align with the basis of her argument, her her decision to leave a four year old unattended in public. A egregious decision. It's hard to focus on the crux of the essay, which I think was that we worry too much and are hovering, sheltering, and not permitting our kids to be kids, because her example was so ill-fitting.

If she was talking about not driving with her children for fear of getting in an accident, or not letting her child play outside for fear they'd get dirty and sick. If she talked about not leaving the room for fear something would happen to her child, or staring a video monitor all night while her child slept. Even if she talked about not letting her child take the school bus because she felt only was a safe driver I could understand. This isn't what she was talking about. BOTTOMLINE: we are talking about a 4 year old. 



STOP!!!!

She was charged, which I also don't necessarily agree with (feels a little like waste of resources to me) but she was wrong. A warning would have likely been sufficient for a first 'offense'. I truly can't find a part of me that believes leaving a four year old alone is okay. Does that make me overprotective? I honestly don't think that it does (that doesn't mean other things I do don't make me overprotective, but this isn't all about me).

I will let that be the end of my rant for now. WHEW, that feels better.

I am confident that not everyone will agree with me and I may even get some backlash, I am okay with that. I am also REALLY curious what other people think about it.

What are your thoughts???

EDIT:
One more point: by leaving him in the car she is contributing to another significant problem of parents and children these days: letting children have too much control. She doesn't "parent" him in the moment she leaves him. He was not listening and she let him decide what was going to happen and therefore potentially put him at risk. Since when do we let four year olds control our behavior?
Sure, we're overprotective, but another problem is that we let our children control our behavior. We sometimes fail to parent because it's easier to give in. And sometimes when we give in, we do it in times where we really shouldn't.
This could have been a learning moment for her son, yes, he wanted to stay in the car, but it wasn't safe and it isn't allowed. He should have been told no, tantrum or no tantrum, and been made to come into the store.
Do we live in fear of tantrums and change our behavior to avoid them? Do we constantly accommodate our children regardless of things we need to do? No. That is a whole other issue she failed to address but actively contributed to.

Okay, done for real.


what I wore Wednesday

It's official, in the last week I took pictures of my outfit on ONE day. I guess that speaks to my level of exhaustion, having a zillion and one things to do and no time to do anything, and likely the fact that I haven't been wearing much that I consider 'picture-worthy'. Now that I've shared the blog, I can't go back to yoga pants. But let me tell you, it's so hard not to go back to yoga pants and flip flops, put your hair in a pony tail and say 'screw it' to the mascara when you're running on empty and have so much to do.

BUT (I say that a lot, because there's always a 'but') I've fought the frumpy-urge and managed to be that mom on Saturday. You know, the one who wears heels to the zoo. OKAY okay, they were wedges, so it's not really that bad, also, I didn't have any other shoes that went with the pineapple dress I was dying to wear again and changing my outfit for the 5th time was not an option.


Pineapple dress: Jessica Simpson (old), shoes: Target, sunglasses: Ray Ban, adorable baby: me+Mr.B
mini-me's outfit was a gift but it's Gymboree and the cutest thing EVER!!!

As we walked through the gravel parking lot towards the entrance of the zoo I thought "yup, this is why people don't wear heels to the zoo" but then I realized that wedges offer a distinct advantage over flip flops in this scenario: no rocks in my shoes! I looked cute AND wasn't stopping every five seconds to kick out rocks. SCORE! Most importantly, my feet weren't dying when we finished out 1.5 hour zoo tour. I even managed to do groceries on the way home while Mr. B hung out in the car with a tuckered mini-me. 

ANYways, zoo was super fun, mini-me loved all the animals and I didn't feel like I looked like I just rolled out of bed (despite being up for the day at 5am and up at various times throughout the night - I will complain about teething later). Moral of the story: even if you feel like a bag of crap, you don't have to look like you feel like a bag of crap.

My new motto these days: Fake it til you make it. 

Sometimes, no matter how tired you are, you have to dress up, put a smile on and you might actually surprise yourself by feeling a little better. Oh and coffee. A LOT of coffee. That's just a given.

I'll post more about the craziness that's been going on 'round here lately a little later but I'll end on a happy note with a few more pics.


Linking up with some lovely ladies this week: Get Your Pretty On, The Pleated Poppy, and Because Shanna Said So 

Until next time...



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