fostering friendships is good for the soul

Sunday, June 22, 2014

When you become a mom your world changes, your priorities change. Whether you want it to happen or not, relationships change.

I was so fortunate when I went off on mat leave (besides the whole year-long maternity leave in Canada) that two of my close friends had recently had babies too. Throughout my year off, I had two amazing women to connect to, vent to, commiserate with, cry with, and have play dates with.

Mat leave ends and the reality of being a working mom quickly kicks in. Some days it's all I can do to get everyone fed and dressed. Cleaning the house has now become an 'extra' and there are few  moments where I feel like I have it under control. Let alone make time for myself. Let alone make time to foster relationships with my girlfriends.

Once again, I am so so fortunate to have a few amazing girlfriends but my contact with them has been sporadic at best since mini-me became my world.

I am trying to make a conscientious effort to focus on myself a little more. I have mentioned before that I am trying to take more time for myself (demand it even), get (moderately) healthy and fit, and just start feeling like my life is more balanced.



Here's where my friends come in. I have noticed, that spending time fostering good friendships IS me time. It IS so important to my well-being.

The point: I have been trying to make an effort to connect more with the people who matter to me and that absolutely qualifies as 'me time' and serves to make me feel like I've had a break and like I'm something in addition to being a mom, wife and an employee (and obviously I am more but it doesn't always feel that way).

Saturday morning Nancy and I headed up to Kelley's cottage. Despite having to leave early Sunday morning (because life calls) we had an AMAZING time. It wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, I could (should) have thoroughly enjoyed another day on the dock. But it was exactly what I needed. I needed that girl-time, I needed that recharge and kid-free time to just get back to some friendships that are really important to me. To get back to that part of me that misses girl-chats and spending time with people who know me as more than a wife, mom or employee.

PLUS having fun drinks and delicious food is always high on my list ;)



It wasn't anything extravagant - we pretty much hung out on the dock all day long (in the most beautiful weather EVER!). We ordered wood-fired pizza that Jacqui picked up on her way to join us. Had an awesome dinner and then headed back down to the dock to have some drinks and snacks while watching the sunset. The night ended with the usual 'girl talk' until an early bedtime of 11pm. It was perfect.




I've reconnected with a few people lately and it's honestly made me feel more whole. Those important friendships validate my existence outside of my wife, mom, employee roles (which seem all-consuming at times). I am so lucky to have such amazing women to call my friends. Besides a recap, the point of this post is to inspire you to foster those relationships that are important for you. It isn't always easy or convenient to fit it in, but it's always worth it.




So to my other friends, look out, I'll be asking for a date soon ;)


12 comments:

  1. Love it! And love,your new design anf congrats on 10000 views! That is a huge deal momma! Love your blog- keep,doing your thing! Xo, Keila

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  2. Sounds like fun - and I like your fedora in the pics! You're right - friendships tend to be the last thing on the priority list once you have kids, but they are so important. Good for you for taking some much needed time away to recharge. It's important for mama to be happy too! :)

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    1. thanks Lana!! Yes, happy momma means better momma (at least for me).

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  3. I totally agree with you on this! Friendship is like sunshine to me... I NEED it! It lifts my spirits when I'm having a hard time. I just need friends in my life! It is so hard to juggle everything, life gets so crazy! But taking a little bit of time to nurture my friendships makes ME a better person!!

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    1. so so true!! Now, just finding the extra time (and sitters) to do it as much as we'd like :)

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  4. I need one of these so badly. My girlfriends are all scattered and it's so hard for us to find time together. I'm glad you got to enjoy a (well-deserved) night off!

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  5. so true, so true! It's hard to squeeze in girlfriend time, but when I do, it's the best ever!

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  6. Wow, a whole year for maternity leave sounds amazing!!

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    1. it is, but going back to work was a definite shock for me!

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