the item of clothing I dread the most...

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Another confession: I have a VERY strong and perhaps irrational fear of white pants. White clothing in general freaks me out but white pants seriously terrify me.

Am I the only one?

Like many style-challenged individuals, I rely heavily on Pinterest to assist me in putting together outfits. Well as spring approaches (I guess it's technically here, but there's still snow on the ground here so I'm still waiting) I'm frequenting Pinterest and searching "spring outfits". I find so many things that I'm about to "pin" and then I catch myself because although it's a wonderfully coordinated and super cute outfit, the pants are white. WHITE. White is the colour (yes, I spelled colour with a 'u' - blame Canada) that shows EVERYTHING! There's no forgiveness with white.

All Pinterest has to offer is white white and MORE white.

I LOVE the look of white pants (on other people) and I am constantly getting emails (damn you Gap) about how white pants are "in" but I. JUST. CAN'T.

I can recall two occasions where I've worn white pants. The first, I bought white capri pants in university and wore them out to the bar (I believe that erroneous decision was inspired by a guy I liked saying he LOVED how girls looked in white pants - he is not my husband so we can imagine how that went). Anyways, I don't remember that ending horribly but I also wore them to the bar so I'm not sure I'd remember if it did end horribly. The second time was in Mexico this past January. I wore white pants out to dinner. With a baby. It could have gone horribly wrong but it didn't. I was paranoid all night and was so happy to get back to our room without being covered in dinner.

What's the issue? I don't know, maybe I'm afraid mother nature will all of the sudden decide for aunt flo to make an early appearance or that I'll sit in ketchup or chocolate. I'm also not exactly the most graceful person on the planet. There is a strong likelihood that my morning coffee would be spilled all over my lap (I've learned, you can't see coffee on dark jeans or black pants!) or I'd walk through mud puddle and have to walk around the rest of the day with coffee on my lap and/or mud around my ankles.
Am I over-thinking this? Probably. Does that change anything? No.

Another complicating factor, I'm not "supermodel skinny" and I've read white pants can make you appear larger. Do I really  need to put myself in a situation where I'm looking larger than normal AND likely covered in my breakfast and/or lunch and/or whatever I've happened to walk through/drink whatever? It's just a risk I'm not sure I'm willing to take. If the day comes, where I dare wear (say that 10 times fast) white it will likely be a day where I happen to be fasting (not that that has/will ever happened) or I'll be forced to eat transparent foods the entire day (white grapes for breakfast, lunch and dinner anyone?). Until that day comes, frumpy mommy needs to find an alternative. *sigh*