Tuesday, December 18, 2018

if you're a blogger or writer of any sort, from the biggest to the just-starting-out, I suspect you might understand the "drafts situation".

I don't blog regularly... I don't even blog semi-regularly. Essentially, I don't blog at all... until I do.

Every once in a while though, I feel the inkling to write. Sometimes, when I don't dismiss the notion, I open up blogger and start a post. I start writing all the things but get side-tracked. Likely, it's kids getting out of bed or thoughts falling out of my head. Regardless of the reason, the writing stops and the post gets lost.

But every now and then I go back and realize I have a number of "drafts". These long lost, half-finished posts that are sitting... waiting. For what? To be deleted? To be shared as is? To be finished?

I see those words in red "draft" and I'm always a little surprised when I click on it - "I wrote that?" I think. It's clear, reading those half-finished posts, that I got caught up in something else and that's life, isn't it? Especially life as a parent of little people.

So tell me, what do you do with your drafts?

Friday Loves - top 5 shopping picks

Friday, October 26, 2018

This Friday I am actually participating in the Friday Loves with the Blended Blog. Why you ask? Well, after spending a glorious extra long weekend with some of the Blended Blog  ladies, I kind of feel like I needed to participate (read: legitimize my belonging in the group so I can go on all future meet-ups because we had ALL THE FUN). That and this week we are shaving 5 of our favourite purchases from the weekend and obviously I did some shopping.

I need to tell you (and my husband, should be read this) that I was actually VERY retrained when it came to shopping. Part of the was due to my suitcase being shockingly close to the max weight on the way to South Carolina lol. Nevertheless, I managed to score some great finds and was not-so-gently encourage to make a few purchases.

Prior to the trip I won a Loft gift card which is crazy because I’m the person who never wins anything. No, I’m not just the person who says “omg, I never win anything” and in actuality I win all the things all of the time. I legit win nothing, ever. Suffice to say, I was very excited to win a $100 but when it got down to shopping time I had zero idea what to purchase and felt lost in the store. Well, thank goodness for friends who are much better shoppers than I because Deena and Abbie flew into the rescue.

Deena was tasked with a work-appropriate (read: no jeans – even though I’m technically allowed to wear jeans to work) and she picked this skirt and sweater combo (in the perfect size, I might add) and after trying it on I was ordered to purchase.

Next these jeans. The funny story with these jeans is that Abbie desperately wanted them but they didn’t have her size. She forced me to try on a size I felt was too small for me and subsequently made me buy them.

The grande total spent at Loft for all three items? $11. AH-mazing.

We made a group excursion to Express and quite literally took over the changeroom. It was pandemonium of the best kind. We tried on all of the things. I left with these super comfy casual jeans and perfect length sweater.


Last but DEFINITELY not least, the jacket. I tried this jacket on in Michael Kors on day 1 but convinced myself, despite my friends urging the contrary, that I didn’t need it and would never wear it. The weekend went by (too fast for my liking) and on the travel day home we just happened to find ourselves at the outlet mall again (weird, right?!). Some of us (not me) may have needed more luggage to get our purchases home… hahahahaha. So we’re having breakfast when it hits me “it’s cold at home and I have no jacket when I get off the plane”. Surely the drop in temperature at home is a sign from the heavens I needed this jacket. I say I’ll try it on a again and we’ll see and once I had it on I am pretty sure my friends were not allowing me to leave without it.

But leave me without it they did. I bought the jacket and Abbie stuck it in her carry-on because I was out of room. We fly home (with the best flight attendant of all time, but that’s a story for another day) and bid each other adieu (as Abbie and Deena had a connecting flight)… I’m in the bathroom waiting to pee when I remember “ABBIE HAS MY JACKET”. I had resigned myself to the fact she’d have to mail it to me and I wouldn’t see my beloved jacket for a few weeks. Well, Abbie and Deena were having none of that. We went through our respective customs and Abbie and Deena reunited me with big red. Good friends are the ones who make you buy and then won’t let you go home without your jacket!!

I know you’re going to pop over to the Blended Blog because the other ladies also did some kick-butt shopping and who doesn’t like living vicariously through other’s shopping experiences? Just me?

Happy Friday!!

Seasons of Love

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

525600 minutes. 

No, this is not me reciting "Rent", although, if there was a musical to recite, that would be the one. It's just that I sat down in front of the computer with Blogger open but no words in my brain and that song popped into my head.

Appropriate given the day.

Tomorrow marks my return to work. My return to work following a year-long maternity leave.

525600... how do you measure, measure a year?

My pregnancy was a surprise. It felt long and short at the same time. I felt awful. I was unsure, lacking confidence in my ability to parent another baby. Wondering, as all mothers do, how I'd find a way to love another human being with the same ferocity as my first two.

And then she arrived. Lillian, my Lily Girl. Needless to say my concerns vanished. 9 months of worry gone in an instant. She was mine and I was hers. She just fit. It's like the Grinch who stole Christmas, my heart grew three sizes that day.

I've said it before but I'll say it again, Lillian was meant to be a part of our family. It was like the universe was privy to a plan we had absolutely no knowledge of. I am grateful every single day that there was a bigger plan for us.

personality for DAYS!

I return to work tomorrow and it's not just Lily I'm leaving. I feel like it automatically shifts things for Annabelle and Oliver too. Dinners won't be ready when they come home. Life will be a little (or a lot) more rushed. There will be times where I have to work late and I won't see them. There will be work stress in addition to life stress. 

Don't get me wrong (and I may be cursed for saying this), I'm not stay at home mom material. I admire the women who can and do stay at home but I need to work (for both financial and mental well-being). I need to work but that doesn't make it easy. Does that even make sense?

I wish there was some way to balance it - be home but also work. I mean, I know it's possible, it's just not possible for me right now.

Before you ask, yes, Oliver very much enjoyed this photoshoot **insert eyeroll emoji here**

I'm grateful for a year. I am beyond grateful to live in a country that values (and helps financially support) women and men who stay home with their children. I can't imagine less than a year. But a year is a blip on the radar that is life... only 525600 minutes after all.
In the essence of being grateful and finding the positive here are my lists:
I'm looking forward to:
having a reason to get "ready" in the morning
talking to adults other than my husband (I love my husband, but I'll appreciate more adult interaction on the regular"
all the coffee
work treats (double edge sword but I'm being positive so yay yummy stuff)
learning more (I love doing extra training etc)
walks on my lunch
finding balance (or trying to find balance)
running errands on my lunch (time to do all the things)

Mat leave moments I'm grateful for:
being able to pick-up Annabelle from school
walks with my babies
excursions to the park
long car rides (while kids nap and I listen to books)
play groups
all the coffee
the giggles
the snuggles
the "firsts"
one-on-one time with each of my kiddos
group naps!
play dates

getting all three kids looking in the same direction, eyes open and smiling is akin to mission impossible. I kid you not.

5265600 minutes... they were NOT all easy but they were OURS and I'm grateful to have had them.

I'll leave with this:

525600 minutes
525600 moments so dea
525600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
525600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

what I'm wearing (my gold shoe obsession!)

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

I haven't posted a picture of my outfit in... well.. I don't even know how long. Suffice to say, it's been a while.

Why now? Why in the middle of a giant blogging oblivion? The real answer? I don't know entirely. I love fall and sweater weather so I feel more comfortable in these clothes than any other time of the year. I also have been (again) contemplating this place and what I want it to look like (spoiler alert, I haven't come up with any answers - I know, you're shocked and amazed).

Whatever, I've been wearing stuff and I wanted to share it and that's the bottom-line. Also, I missed seeing what other people are wearing lol so here we are.

OH and I'm quite clearly OBSESSED with these gold loafers!!! I got them on sale and I LOVE them so much. That and they feel like walking on clouds, so that's nice. Plus, I feel like they just jazz up any outfit and I like gold.

Okay, here's what I've been wearing lately:

NOTE: the Blended Blog's prompt this week is plaid... so the scarf counts, no?

PS I'm so hoping I don't look as tired as I am, my kids have decided to take turns waking up through the night so I basically don't sleep. Thank the good Lord for coffee and makeup!!!

Happy Wednesday!

OHHHHH Don't forget to link up with the Blended Blog below (some of who I'll be meeting up with in a few short weeks eeeeeeek!!)

the blog, revisted

Friday, August 10, 2018

The baby is napping, little man is watching a show (it's educational, I promise) and mini me is at camp for the day. I've got limited time to write so need my fingers to cooperate and move quickly (we can thank coffee for that).

I've had a love/hate relationship with my blog for the last few years. I continue to be unable to say "I'm not doing that anymore" but also completely unable to dive back into things. There are lots of reasons for my back and forth but primarily it's time and not having a complete vision.

This place has been a mismash of things and that's okay but I always had something greater in mind, something more purposeful than a recounting of my daily life (which most probably wouldn't find all that exciting). I tethered around multiple ideas and have written down some plans but they all fell by the wayside because when it came down to it, when I did have "free" time, my first inclination wasn't "I must blog". I miss writing though. I miss sharing but sharing scares me.

So here I am, once again, writing basically the same post I have written multiple times since the beginning of my blogging hiatus (which conveniently coincided with my return to work after baby # 3).

Here I sit, once more revisiting the idea of this blog and this place and the challenge I continue to be unsure.

I am still not ready to officially "quit" but I know that when I come back it won't be as it was.

There is no point to this post besides to say "hi, I'm still here, still not sure what I'm doing" lol.

Hope everyone is having an amazing summer xo

TBB Asks - Vacation Edition

Monday, July 2, 2018

  1. YES! Nothing extravagant but we have rented a cottage with friends for a week! We'll also be borrowing my dad and stepmom's trailer for a weekend with the kids.
  2. I have 3 kids 5 and under... even if we do no scheduled activities, I would hardly call it relaxing.
  3. I will vacation any month lol. I love the weather here in July and August so if we're staying close to home I'm not too picky where it falls.
  4. I've never been on a cruise but I can't say I'd turn down a free one lol. Not sure how I feel about being trapped on a boat though lol. One day.
  5. Can't say we have a vacation tradition... maybe we'll start something this year ;)
  6. My honeymoon was in June in Mexico and it was amazing. Beautiful weather, amazing food, lots of a great day trips. So much fun!
  7. I'm a pack it all kinda girl... even "packing light" is more than most people would regularly pack lol (just being honest). I always think I'm going to need something I don't pack.
  8. I have yet to stay in a condo or house sooooo I'm not qualified to answer lol. THOUGH I will be staying in a house with the Blended Blog ladies in October. I'll get back to you on that one.
  9. ALL THE THINGS. If you can't eat everything on vacation then when can you? I probably eat more seafood than I normally would when I'm on vacation. YUM.
  10. Warm. I love the warmth!

Link up your TBB Asks Vacation posts below!! HAPPY SUMMER

the last day of the first year of school

Thursday, June 28, 2018

It was 10 short months ago we sent her off for her first day of junior kindergarten. We walked the short walk with our wee girl and I was terrified for her for all of the unknowns. I was worried about her having to open her lunches and decide what to eat, I was concerned about her making friends, I wondered if she'd be on good behaviour. I struggled with the loss of control and sending my 4 year old out into the world as an independent little person.

she clearly wasn't worried

10 months ago my mind was filled with so many "what ifs" and today, on the last day of school, I looked at my little person, my growing girl, and tears welled up in my eyes because she showed me. She squelched every concern I had. She freaking ROCKED her first year of school.

I eagerly opened her report card yesterday and I read about her "kind and gentle" personality and about what an enthusiastic learner she is. I beamed with pride. I marveled in the words that so accurately described my oldest daughter, my first born.

This morning, as I sent my baby girl off to school for the last day of the year, she looked so much bigger, so grown up. The backpack was no longer ready to knock her off her axis at any point. She excitedly carried her teacher's gifts that she helped decorate and HAD to write the notes herself.

It seems like yesterday she was learning to crawl and now she's reading me stories and writing notes to her friends. I no longer worry about what will happen when she's back in school next year and on her own. She has shown us all how ready she is for this and any new experience or challenge.

My concerns 10 months ago were all about me, me not being sure, me losing this grip on my little girl but you know what? I still get HUGE hugs when I pick her up, she still calls me momma and comes to me with her upsets, she still loves to snuggle and most of all, school or no school, she's still my baby girl.

last day of JK

Now I'm off to cry in my coffee for a few minutes and then I'll pull myself together and go pickup that big girl from school and take her for ice cream, we've BOTH totally earned it!